The reason behind it all...

No one tells you how lonely motherhood really is going to be. The time it takes for you to truly wrap your mind around the fact that this little person you love so much, is all yours and their life is literally in your hands, is all the time you get to be oblivious to the fact that life as you know it is "over". You will soon realize that your first night home isn't the hardest (or easiest) night of your life. But rather the weeks to come will surely be a test of your survival skills. One thing I know is that motherhood is not easy especially when it's your first time around. You're the one that decides if you will be formula feeding or learn the art of breastfeeding, the one that has to lose the excess  baby weight to fit into her pre-pregnancy clothes, the one to face returning (or not) to work. You are the one that does all of this and more while your body heals.  


 There isn't a pep talk on the confusing depression you will feel meanwhile experiencing the most joy you could ever imagine. The tears of immense elation and complete defeat are beyond summing up. Is there a blueprint to motherhood? Anyone? I've learned to read, pray, ask, and laugh at yourself and your just as clueless partner and when all else fails cry it out.


 I guess I want to be reassured that what I am feeling (loneliness, self doubt, exhaustion and what seems to be the world on my shoulders) is normal and that every new mom experiences this one way or another. I want compassion and camaraderie. I want to vent.


The above is the reason I'm beginning this blog. I've had my up's and down's on my 8 weeks as a mother. I know 8 weeks doesn't seem like a long time, but it is when you've only slept 24 hours a week for the past 2 months. I'm sure that there are several new mommies out there as clueless as I am that want a non-juried fellowship. I hope that the newly expectant mothers aren't discouraged but encouraged by my blog. And that there is an element of liberty here that there is no where else. Plus, we have the right to vent. After all it is the hardest and most rewarding job of our lives!