The Perfect Problem

I know, I know "I need to learn how to ease up and let things go" but, it is so hard for me to do that. I just feel like I need to know what's happening at all times... Grrrr. Fine. I'll say it... Hi. My name is Brenda and I am a control freak. There, you happy now?

What do you want me to do, wait? I can't wait. I need things done right now and when I need them. Not only that but I need things done RIGHT. I feel I am the only one qualified to do so. I love it when things are done right. It is such a great friend, I mean feeling.

It hit me like a ton of bricks today when I was at the grocery store.  Just an FYI-my grocery list goes in the order of the isles. For example, If I enter the store through the produce section (this is the first step to writing my list) the first items on my list are in this particular section and then it continues according to the continuing isles such as dairy, drinks, snacks, cereals, meats, frozen foods and pharmacy. Yes, I have the grocery store memorized. Don't you?

Well, I was checking out and handed my tote bags to the check out lady's assistant we were all smiles until it happened. I squealed. I saw her put the meat at the very bottom of the tote bag next to the bananas. I had deliberately placed the meat at the very end so this wouldn't happen. I just had to intervene. Well, long story short I ended up bagging my own groceries and got a raised eyebrow-frown from the assistant and the check out lady. They both were well into their 60's and wore condescending eye glasses that sat precariously close to the tip of their nose. "I'm sure you don't need help out" one said with a straight lipped smile. I thanked them and wallowed in shame the whole way home.

I thank God my daughter doesn't understand the complex and subtle undertones of manners. Those women would have told me where to put my tote bags and meat, if it weren't for them being on the clock. I totally blew it. I felt like the overbearing, power driven Kate Gosselin. She has 8 children I have ONE.

I vow, on this 25th of January, 2011 to let up on things, for my sanity and rep and for that of my amazing husband. He is AMAZING and he is my bestest friend ever! I rather have things be not so perfect than drive him (or any one else) away. Amen.